


Don't Blame Yourself

by beautywithin16



Category: Taggart (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Post Prayer for the Dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautywithin16/pseuds/beautywithin16
Summary: Set after "Prayer for the Dead": Jackie checks up on Michael.
Relationships: Michael Jardine/Jackie Reid, Mike Jardine/Jackie Reid





	Don't Blame Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> I have a soft spot for the episode “Prayer for the Dead”. As sad as it is, I’ve always loved the last scene between Michael and Jackie. This is something I’ve been wanting to do for a while and I’ve finally attempted it. It’s me, so this story does divert from canon. :)
> 
> The title comes from the song “If (Don’t Ever Blame Yourself)” by Last Days of April ft. Tegan Quin, which reminds me of M/J.

It should have been a good date, but Jackie found that it wasn’t what she had expected.

Thinking of Michael Jardine hadn’t helped at all.

Jackie had gone out to dinner with Paul, who was nice, but she knew about halfway through their meal that they’d probably never see each other again. The fact that she wasn’t disappointed meant that it was for the best.

Paul had been able to tell that her mind was elsewhere. As much as she tried to, she couldn’t take her mind off Michael. They hadn’t spoken since he’d walked away from her, blaming himself for everything that had gone wrong with the case.

And Jackie had wanted nothing more than to take him in her arms, reassure him that he hadn’t screwed up, that he was a good DI, that she would always support him.

But she knew that Michael wouldn’t have accepted her comfort, not at that moment anyway.

Oh, how her heart could break for him.

When her dinner with Paul ended, there was an awkward moment where they both acknowledged that nothing would happen between them. Jackie wished him well before taking a taxi. She had fully intended to go home, but she found herself blurting out Michael’s address to the driver.

So, that was how she found herself on Michael’s doorstep. Jackie hoped that he wouldn’t turn her away.

The door opened revealing Michael, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. A grin spread across his face, “You look very nice,” he said.

“Thanks,” she said, trying not to blush at his stare. “Can I come in?”

Michael wordlessly widened the door for her to enter. As he closed the door, Jackie went to take her coat off, but at the last second tightened it instead. She missed the little smirk from Michael when he noticed.

They made their way to the living room where Jackie took a seat on a nearby chair, while Michael sat on the couch.

“I take it dinner wasn’t a success then?” he asked.

“It was nice, but we both agreed it wouldn’t work,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Jackie shrugged, “It’s fine. But I was sorry about Ellen Pollock.”

She hadn’t really liked the woman, and to be honest, she wasn’t thrilled when Michael had taken an interest in Ellen, but she had been able to hide that behind the smiles and good-natured teasing.

Still, she never could stand to see Michael hurt, which seemed to be a common occurrence when it came to his love life.

“It’s okay, I’m not really bothered about it,” he said.

In truth, he had gotten over that disappointment rather quickly. It was the case, and his abilities that he was in angst about.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked.

Jackie shook her head, “I just wanted to see how you were. We haven’t talked since…”

Michael had the grace to look guilty, he really should have handed that conversation better.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she said softly.

Michael scoffed, “Wasn’t it?” Jackie shook her head. “Earlier today, you offered to check up on Harry Clyde and I told you not to bother.”

“That wouldn’t have made a difference, Michael. Even if I had checked up on him, it wouldn’t have saved their lives,” she said.

Jackie had a point, but why had it not occurred to him to investigate Clyde earlier?

As if reading his thoughts, she said, “We had no reason to suspect him.”

Maybe so, Michael thought, but he didn’t like it.

“You were wrong about one thing,” he said after a moment.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“You didn’t make mistakes,” he said, thinking back to their encounter in the bullpen. “You were great.”

“Thanks,” she said, her eyes not quite meeting his as she smiled shyly.

Truthfully, Michael wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to help him with the investigation. Jackie had always been a good officer and she just kept getting better. He couldn’t have been more pleased for her when she made sergeant.

“You’re a great detective, Michael,” she said but Michael looked unconvinced. “You are,” she added firmly before she joined him on the couch. “They wouldn’t have placed you in charge of the investigation if you weren’t,” she said after he turned to face her.

“I’m not sure Taggart thinks I’m up to it,” he admitted.

Jackie blinked in surprise, “Taggart… you know what’s he like. I’m sure if he had doubts, it was because of the case and not your abilities.” She added teasingly, “You are his golden boy, after all.”

Michael smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, “Thanks.”

“Anyway, do you really think Taggart’s not felt like this at the end of a case?” she asked.

Michael silently conceded that, but the knowledge didn’t make him feel better, something Jackie seemed all too aware of.

She could see Michael’s disappointment in himself and her heart went out to him. Jackie had realised a while ago that she would do just about anything if it would make him happy.

“Oh, Michael,” she said before she pulled him to her.

To her surprise, Michael didn’t push her away, and she was more surprised when he put both of his arms around her after a moment.

As she tightened the embrace, Michael reflected on how important Jackie had become to him. How sometimes her smile was the only thing to get him through the day. She was his confidant, and he found that he didn’t want anyone else for that role. Jackie always seemed to go above and beyond for him.

Not to mention the loyalty she showed him, and he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to put into words how much it meant to him.

He found his mind turning to other things, like how he’d wanted to kiss her the last time they’d gone out for a drink. It hadn’t been the first time he’d wanted to, and he doubted it would be the last. Sometimes his feelings for her were easy to ignore, but then there would be days where it was difficult to keep up the pretence.

And it terrified him.

“You’ll be okay,” she said quietly, breaking the silence.

Michael nodded absently, not thinking about the case. He pulled back a little from the embrace and regarded her intently. “Why?” he asked quietly.

“What?” she asked, puzzled.

“Why do you seem to have so much faith in me?” he asked, wanting to know what he had done to deserve her.

Jackie shifted slightly, “I’d hardly be a good friend, would I?”

“Well, thanks,” he smiled.

The look in his eyes was breath-taking and Jackie decided that it might be good to put some distance between them. Until his eyes went to her lips, she waited expectedly, hoping that he might _finally_ make a move.

Her cheeks flushed red, alerting Michael that she had noticed his stare and he sprang apart from her. He looked everywhere but at Jackie as he tried to think of a way to apologise.

Disappointment crossed her face as she thought on a course of action. It was a moment that could be easily ignored, they could just brush it away and things would continue as normal.

But would that be for the best?

“There’s always going to be reasons not to…let this happen,” she broke the silence. “But is it really better for us to ignore this?”

Her heart on the line, she waited for Michael to respond, desperately hoping that his next words wouldn’t crush her spirit.

“I should be telling you that we can’t do this,” he finally said. “I’m technically your superior officer and we’re friends. It’s probably not a good idea.”

Jackie nodded, “I understand.”

“But I don’t want to tell you any of those things,” he confessed. Michael smiled as a flicker of hope crossed Jackie’s face. “We’ll probably have to talk about how to balance this and work.”

“I know it might not be easy, but I’m willing to try if you are,” she said.

“Me too,” he said quietly.

They smiled, both trusting that neither would deliberately hurt the other. Michael realised that he was no longer in the mood for talking, so he leaned forward and tenderly kissed Jackie.

When they broke apart, he slowly smiled, “I think the talking can wait a while.”

Jackie smiled before their lips met again. Michael’s last coherent thought before the kiss deepened, was that he may have just made the best decision of his life.

**The End**


End file.
